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Orbit (school Assignment)


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#1 hmtinc

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 12:35 AM

ok i live in ontario,canada ( incase you didn't know).
Here inorder to graduate high school , you need at least one art credit. I thought i get rid the art credit early so i took / i am taking keyboarding ( Its a class where we make music :P)

Well majority of our assignments are done on Logic Pro 9 and i have a assignment due in a few days , so i was wondering if the community :P could give some feedback on my music :D



Warning : song Is still a work in progress and may sound horrible :P
Song name : Orbit
Link :
http://www.mediafire...xm3d6oi54644m44

if you think its bad ... its probably cause i have only really worked on it for about 20 - 30 min :D


Feedback  would be appreciated :D
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#2 DanIsTheMan

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 12:45 AM

it seems pretty good, theres a few cheesy effects in it at 0:29 though, i really like the part at 1:30. you should extend it and add a few more bits into it :)

EDIT: Try to add some reverb and effects to the piano at the end. Is it meant to be that random? :P

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#3 Jman3350

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 01:23 AM

Well at around 1:51 and from then on, the piano (or whatever it is) sounds kind of jumbled up and tbh I thought my computer was glitching (as for some reason it won't stop doing that on iTunes or Safari) Otherwise I like it :)
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#4 rynotheking14

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 02:48 AM

this is really good.  one of my biggest suggestions is to make it longer and use variated drum beats.  like add drum effects.  maybe some scratching...

the acoustic piano did not fit at all....  i suggest removing this and adding something different like maybe some different sounding drums or something more vibrant/less classical to end with a bang

your on ur way!!  good job

edit: wouldn't mind hearing the finished project and the mark you got on it!!!

#5 hmtinc

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 02:56 AM

 rynotheking14, on 06 June 2012 - 02:48 AM, said:

this is really good.  one of my biggest suggestions is to make it longer and use variated drum beats.  like add drum effects.  maybe some scratching...

the acoustic piano did not fit at all....  i suggest removing this and adding something different like maybe some different sounding drums or something more vibrant/less classical to end with a bang

your on ur way!!  good job

edit: wouldn't mind hearing the finished project and the mark you got on it!!!
now that am hearing it ... I agree that the piano sounds awful . Removed it :D

Go logic Pro :D
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#6 eridani

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 06:43 AM

Just came to say that it really sucks. But hey! you are in time to switch to painting or something else.

Got you!, just kidding. =P

Nah, i actually came to say that the piano at 1:50 sounds weird, but seems you already took care of it.
So other than that, i like the progression you made from the very beginning and the part from 0:15-1:50. Oh just one thing, the percussions at the start up to sec 0:10 are a really dry sound to my ears, so you may try adding some cool effect, or shortening to 5-7 secs, not sure. @_@

And i agree with Ryno, wouldn't mind hearing the finished project and the mark you got on it!!!
Keep the good work.

#7 julus

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 11:40 PM

Not so bad, but i have to point out two things:
1) Too many key changes (even in the middle of beat)
2) Piano at end is totally random, not in any key, random note lengths, completely disharmonic.

#8 HiPhish

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:35 AM

 hmtinc, on 06 June 2012 - 12:35 AM, said:

Well majority of our assignments are done on Logic Pro 9
Be honest, you don't care about our opinions, you just want to rub in our face how cool your school is, right? ;)
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#9 cybershark

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 07:28 PM

Okay, now my opinion.

I start with the piano part.

Posted Image

That was my impression.

you have to stick more to the beat. it was rythmically totally off (piano part).
try to use more cords in the left hand during the piano part.

Furthermore, like julus said, to many key changes.
Also your beats are changing way to often. it's really confusing and hard to listen to
I also missed a red string. You nead a motive which the listener could follow through the whole song. Play with it and wrap chords around it. If you change instruments try to take you beginning motive and play it with the new instrument. Otherwise it become boring and could only work for background stuff where nobody is really listening.

You also should change your beginning. The beat part is in my opinion to long and boring. maybe you could shorten it. Two bars should do the job. maybe even one.

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#10 cluthz

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:43 PM

I'm recording quite a bit myself.
I'm usually making chord progressions first the fill it out.

Just take a look here. I know this is a bit off, but take a look here:
See how much that is made on the same progression:

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#11 julus

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:50 PM


from this you can hear and learn something. it has everything what cybershark described.
There is a long (but not boring) intro  ( till 1:25) with very good transition to louder main theme. Also you can hear motive trough the whole mix.

There are lot of music composition you can learn something (within short time), but only this one piece came across my mind

 cluthz, on 08 June 2012 - 08:43 PM, said:

I'm recording quite a bit myself.
I'm usually making chord progressions first the fill it out.

Just take a look here. I know this is a bit off, but take a look here:
See how much that is made on the same progression:
Spoiler

They stick to beat, and does not do key change (on instruments).

#12 hmtinc

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 09:46 PM

 HiPhish, on 08 June 2012 - 08:35 AM, said:


Be honest, you don't care about our opinions, you just want to rub in our face how cool your school is, right? ;)
My school I actually is a public high school . Not private . In the entire school we only have 30 macs and only art students can use them. :D  but thanks to my school I got logic 9 for free :D with all the jampacks , add-one , loops etc. so yes my school is awesome only if you are apart of certain courses :D
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